Every day my Facebook feed wall is littered with updates on the novel coronavirus. Friends share a fresh perspective, up-to-the-minute stats, helpful tidbits and humorous memes in the spirit of staying informed and lightening the mood. These are uncertain times and people need information to feel safe. They want to know the current impact across the globe and how they and their loved ones are going to be affected.
If a highly contagious virus spreading like wildfire isn’t enough to stress you out, grocery stores aren’t able to keep up with the demand for food and supplies, social distancing is wreaking havoc on small businesses, schools have moved to virtual classrooms causing parents everywhere to pull out their hair and now graduations are being postponed. Closings, layoffs and a volatile stock market have everyone on edge and some are asking, “Where is God in all of this?”
We’re alarmed and searching for meaningful answers and understanding; there’s a new norm and we’re trying to adjust. The proverbial rug-of-life as we knew it has been snatched out from beneath us and we wait with bated breath for that moment of exhale; but when will that moment come?
This pandemic is unprecedented and as I look at the sea of faces around me, I’m discerning shock, fear and anxiety. In the counseling room, my clients are telling me they are being criticized for their fear and anxiety by other Christians, “You just don’t have enough faith!” cried one parent to my client after she made the hard decision to shut down a project to protect vulnerable citizens. Responses like this are more indicative about what is going on inside the speaker than the hearer. This is the Church’s time to shine so here’s what you need to know about fear and anxiety.
It’s normal to fear the unknown and anxiety is the body’s alarm system; it is never tied to the amount of faith you have in God.
Anxiety is designed to notify you when there is immanent danger so you can get yourself to safety. The brain as the body’s command center begins to call in all bodily resources, “You don’t need that energy to digest that snack you just ate because I’m about to tell you if you need to run, fight or freeze!” Adaptive anxiety is very helpful when walking alone at night and you hear footsteps behind you, or when you’re in the ocean and someone screams “Shark!” Anxiety kicks in and gives you a protective surge of hormones. Suddenly, you can run faster, lift heavier, hit harder or freeze until danger passes.
Maladaptive anxiety occurs when the bells and whistles go off but there is no apparent danger. You experience all the symptoms: rapid heart rate, butterflies, rush of hormones, flight of thought but there’s no saber tooth tiger chasing you.
No organism in nature can live in a state of anxiety for long before the body begins to respond negatively. Take the word disease and break it down: dis-ease. When the body is in a constant state of dis-ease, we are susceptible to all sorts of health issues and this is certainly not a time we want our immune systems to be vulnerable. It’s imperative we return to baseline as soon as possible.
Here are five mindfulness techniques to assist you with that goal:
- Deep breathing: Sit down and get comfortable, slowly take in a deep breath while counting to 4, hold the breath for 4 seconds, then slowly exhale to the count of 4. Repeat this 4 times.
- Meditation: Use an app on your phone or go to youtube if you prefer a guided meditation. Meditation has too many health benefits to list here. Every time your attention wanders use the phrase “bring it back.”
- Grounding exercises: Place your focus on your five senses, using colors, smells, sounds, textures. Splash cold water on your face, take a hot shower, sip a hot or cool drink, tune in to your surroundings and notice the sounds in your space, stretch your body, touch objects around you, walk outside and experience nature.
- Breath prayers: The Breath Prayer is an ancient form of prayer and it is easily adaptable. Simply choose one or two lines to meditate on and inhale and then exhale through them. The most common form of breath prayer is known as The Jesus Prayer. So using this example, do this:
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- Inhale filling your lungs with all your breath, then say: Lord Jesus Christ, son of God.
- Exhale slowly and fully, then say: Have mercy on me, a sinner.
- Repeat this practice for as long as you want.
- Start with ten good breaths in and out, then add the words.
Consider switching the word “sinner” for “your beloved child” and notice how your body and soul responds to the change.
- Body Scan: Allow yourself plenty of time to investigate this practice. You can do this sitting or lying down.
- Close your eyes to allow for better focus. Begin with a few deep breaths then begin your scan at the head.
- Notice any sensations (buzzing, tingling, pressure, pain, neutral), don’t do anything about what you notice, just notice it and move to the next part of your body.
- Just be curious and open to what you are noticing, then intentionally release the focus of attention and move to the next area to explore.
- When you are finished, open your eyes and move mindfully into the moment.
So, where is God in all of this? I asked God that question in one of my prayers and I was reminded of Joshua 1:9: “Haven’t I commanded you: be strong and courageous? Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
I am so stinking excited to introduce you to my guest writer today! I know you will enjoy reading her article, she has a lot of wisdom to share. Sarah Coates is the founder & owner of One-Eighty Counseling P.A. She started the group in 2007 and has facilitated the company’s growth to become one of the largest Mental Health & Substance Abuse private practices in both Johnston & Wake counties. Sarah is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor licensed in North Carolina (LCMHC) and provides mental health counseling to female adults & adolescents. She also provides business coaching & mentoring to female entrepreneurs. She easily relates to the entrepreneurial mom who has a dream in her heart and wonders how to balance family & business while developing that vision.
When I drop the term egalitarian among my friend circles, I’m typically met with a glazed stare, the one that lets me know I’ve lost my audience. I get it, it’s not a common word and it’s not used much outside of theological colloquy.
My father was lost in a world of darkness. The chains of mental illness wrapped their wicked fingers around his throat and squeezed until he pulled the trigger on his life. That was January 1977; he was 36. I couldn’t wrap my young brain around that loss for decades. I just felt the colossal void his suicide left in the form of emptiness, pain, and lack. As a 9 nine-year-old child, I didn’t know how to grieve so I stuffed my feelings and lived.
During an intake session, a new client reported multiple traumas along with an eating disorder. When I asked if she had received treatment for the eating disorder, she stated she had seen a church counselor about ten years earlier. “Basically I was given Scripture to quote whenever I felt the urge to restrict my food or purge it after eating.” “Do you still restrict your calories or purge your food after you eat?” I inquired, “Yes, when I’m stressed or thinking about the past I won’t eat and sometimes when it gets bad, I purge.” She replied. In her third session with me, she reported moderate to severe depression and “not feeling like myself anymore,” with thoughts of dying. She let me know she was afraid to take medication because her time in church counseling taught her that taking an antidepressant was not biblical.
On a crisp November evening just before bedtime, my phone alerted me to a new text. “I just got a phone call, my daughter died in a car accident today.” I stood frozen by shock searching for something of value to say to this grieving father. A wave of sadness swept through my body as I eked out a feeble, “I am so sorry.” I wondered how my client who was not on good terms with his adult child would fare. This particular client had already been through so much tragedy in his life, but he was putting in the effort each week to address the toll childhood trauma had taken on his emotions and closest relationships.
The most abysmal failure of my life was the time I planted and pastored a church and after four years of loving, nurturing and pouring my whole self into it, it died. I’ve succeeded at so many things, but this thing I could not do. In 2015, just one year into the church plant, my marriage weathered its toughest storm. That crisis tormented my soul and sucked away at my mortal energy.
How I loathe coming against the terror barrier, it’s…well, it’s terrifying! What is the terror barrier you ask? It is the invisible obstacle that separates the comfort zone from the growth zone and it’s excruciating to cross. The comfort zone is predictable, cozy, safe, easy and in my opinion very boring. The growth zone is unpredictable, risky, and vulnerable, but it can be thrilling like a roller coaster ride.
The Bible is an ancient collection of sacred scriptures. It was written in another culture, at another time, to a different audience and by men who spoke another language. Most people tend to forget this when they “read the Bible for all it’s worth.” They sit, they read, they elucidate and then apply a biblical solution to a 21st century issue based on their personal level of understanding.
The word ezer is a military term that God uses as his own name throughout the Old Testament to describe how God comes through for his people in times of great difficulty. God says “I will be your Ezer Israel,” “I will rescue you!” God gave THAT name to Eve and we are her daughters, therefore we are ezers too! God could have given Eve the Hebrew name for wife, but he did not. He could have given Eve the Hebrew name for assistant, but he did not. He could have given Eve the Hebrew name for aide, but he did not.
Jenny Compton 