My father was lost in a world of darkness. The chains of mental illness wrapped their wicked fingers around his throat and squeezed until he pulled the trigger on his life. That was January 1977; he was 36. I couldn’t wrap my young brain around that loss for decades. I just felt the colossal void his suicide left in the form of emptiness, pain, … Read More Why You Need to Grieve Every Loss
During an intake session, a new client reported multiple traumas along with an eating disorder. When I asked if she had received treatment for the eating disorder, she stated she had seen a church counselor about ten years earlier. “Basically I was given Scripture to quote whenever I felt the urge to restrict my food or purge it after eating.” “Do you still restrict … Read More Sitting With the Broken: Part II
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The most abysmal failure of my life was the time I planted and pastored a church and after four years of loving, nurturing and pouring my whole self into it, it died. I’ve succeeded at so many things, but this thing I could not do. In 2015, just one year into the church plant, my marriage weathered its toughest storm. That crisis tormented my … Read More Failure Doesn’t Get the Last Word
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How I loathe coming against the terror barrier, it’s…well, it’s terrifying! What is the terror barrier you ask? It is the invisible obstacle that separates the comfort zone from the growth zone and it’s excruciating to cross. The comfort zone is predictable, cozy, safe, easy and in my opinion very boring. The growth zone is unpredictable, risky, and vulnerable, but it can be thrilling … Read More Crossing the Terror Barrier
The Bible is an ancient collection of sacred scriptures. It was written in another culture, at another time, to a different audience and by men who spoke another language. Most people tend to forget this when they “read the Bible for all it’s worth.” They sit, they read, they elucidate and then apply a biblical solution to a 21st century issue based on their … Read More Eve: The Mighty Strong Power
One of my first jobs out of graduate school was at a psychiatric facility. I worked in the admissions department taking crisis calls and admitting new patients into the hospital. My immediate supervisor was good enough, but her boss? Well she was another story! I will refer to her as “Angie.” Angie was insecure and lacked basic people skills for the position. She yelled … Read More Three Questions Asked of Every Leader
Ahhhh 1990, the age of perms, pleats, shoulder pads and pantyhose. It was also the year I attended my first supervision training while working for one of the nation’s largest banks. The training lasted two half-days and covered performance review writing, hiring and firing, a sprinkle of communication here and there and the proper dress code for managers. That’s it! No mention of personal … Read More Does Your Communication Style Need to Shift?
My husband and I were recently discussing the concept of leadership over sushi and wine at our favorite Asian fusion restaurant when he asked me an interesting question, “Who are you leading?” I took a moment for thoughtful consideration of the question and answered: “Well, I am leading the most difficult person in the world…me! I am also leading my kids, and every person … Read More Who Are You Leading?
It’s August and I live in central North Carolina, which means it’s rainy, humid and unbearably hot in the gym these days. The white non-descript building located at 318 Main Street has become a staple for me over the past 14 months. At the moment, I’m the only “athlete” in the box so I take advantage of setting up a rower in front of … Read More Seven Ways CrossFit Changed My Life
You’ve decided to salvage your marriage after an affair. It’s not going to be easy to sift through the wreckage and there will be no quick fixes. Re-establishing trust after a monumental transgression is grueling, but with grit and determination you can rebuild. The saying, “What you have done, you will do again,” in the context of infidelity means: once a cheater always a … Read More Twelve Steps to Facilitate Affair Recovery
The church has used Paul’s words in the following passages to silence women for centuries: Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church … Read More In Praise of Female Pastors Part IV: The Interpretation