One of my first jobs out of graduate school was at a psychiatric facility. I worked in the admissions department taking crisis calls and admitting new patients into the hospital. My immediate supervisor was good enough, but her boss? Well she was another story! I will refer to her as “Angie.” Angie was insecure and lacked basic people skills for the position. She yelled … Read More Three Questions Asked of Every Leader
Ahhhh 1990, the age of perms, pleats, shoulder pads and pantyhose. It was also the year I attended my first supervision training while working for one of the nation’s largest banks. The training lasted two half-days and covered performance review writing, hiring and firing, a sprinkle of communication here and there and the proper dress code for managers. That’s it! No mention of personal … Read More Does Your Communication Style Need to Shift?
My husband and I were recently discussing the concept of leadership over sushi and wine at our favorite Asian fusion restaurant when he asked me an interesting question, “Who are you leading?” I took a moment for thoughtful consideration of the question and answered: “Well, I am leading the most difficult person in the world…me! I am also leading my kids, and every person … Read More Who Are You Leading?
It’s August and I live in central North Carolina, which means it’s rainy, humid and unbearably hot in the gym these days. The white non-descript building located at 318 Main Street has become a staple for me over the past 14 months. At the moment, I’m the only “athlete” in the box so I take advantage of setting up a rower in front of … Read More Seven Ways CrossFit Changed My Life
You’ve decided to salvage your marriage after an affair. It’s not going to be easy to sift through the wreckage and there will be no quick fixes. Re-establishing trust after a monumental transgression is grueling, but with grit and determination you can rebuild. The saying, “What you have done, you will do again,” in the context of infidelity means: once a cheater always a … Read More Twelve Steps to Facilitate Affair Recovery
The church has used Paul’s words in the following passages to silence women for centuries: Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church … Read More In Praise of Female Pastors Part IV: The Interpretation
In the West, two polarized groups are used for defining the standard roles of women in the context of the home and church: complementarians and egalitarians. For clarity’s sake, complementarians believe that God established a biblical hierarchy by placing men in authority over women and that he calls women to submit to male leadership. Within this view, only men are to assume leadership … Read More In Praise of Female Pastors Part III: The Debate
In the history of mankind, women represent the most discriminated against population in the world. Across every culture, race and nation, women have been viewed as second class citizens. They have been denied education, the right to own property and the right to vote (until 1920 in the U.S.). Some cultures have viewed a woman’s sole purpose in life as that of bearing children and attending … Read More In Praise of Female Pastors Part II: The History
People have been discriminated against for centuries based on their gender, skin color, preferences, socioeconomic status and abilities. Although clear and measurable progress is duly noted, it is unlikely (in my opinion) that discrimination on all levels will be abolished until Jesus returns and the first heaven and the first earth have passed away (Revelation 21:1). Until those events occur, my … Read More In Praise of Female Pastors Part I: The Call
Current infidelity statistics reveal that in over one-third of marriages, one or both partners admitted to an extramarital affair. This number might actually be low because affairs are under reported. Other research estimates indicate that nearly 60% of all individuals will engage in an affair at some point during the marriage. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I do a lot of affair recovery work. … Read More 10 Signs Your Spouse Might be Cheating
As a counselor, I meet with a lot of couples who are in relationship trouble. Ten minutes into the first session and it’s not too difficult to figure out how they wound up in my office. As personal stories unfurl about adultery, communication breakdowns, reconnecting with old flames, flirting with strangers, and verbal and physical abuse, I am amazed the marriages have lasted to this point. Each of these couples share a common link: they lack … Read More Three Fundamentals Boundaries in Marriage
Spring and early summer is typically when local communities gear up for Relay for Life; an organization whose tagline “celebrate, remember, and fight back” inspires its participants to raise money for cancer research for the American Cancer Society (relayforlife.org, 2014). It’s also the time of year that triggers a flood of memories from my own experience with cancer. I frequently refer to my encounter as “the … Read More Two Responses to Valley Experiences